Coffee with Mz. Jackson

Friday's Feast the Ninth

2007-07-27T04:21:00.000-07:00

Are you as terrified as I am???

Appetizer
Describe a toy you remember from your childhood.
When I was about five, my grandmother bought my Aunt Jill (her youngest child of nine, who was six months younger than I), my sister Trish, and I each a Baby Chrissy Doll for Christmas. Baby Chrissy was a big chubby baby doll whose "hair can be long, or short as can be") because she had a hole in the head where you could pull the long hair out and a string in the back to pull the hair back in. I hated Baby Chrissy from the first time I saw her. I loved tiny baby dolls I could hold like a newborn and Chrissy's head was as big as mine. Somehow I didn't feel like a real mother when my kid weighed as much as I did. But I had to act grateful, which I tried to do without much success. There is a photo lurking around somewhere (wish I could find it!) of me with this huge doll and a sulky look on my face.
Needless to say, my mother wanted to skin my hide by the time we got home!

Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being highest) how observant are you?
It depends. When it comes to objects, I am not naturally observant. But I am very observant of people and am really sensitive to the moods of others.

Salad
Where would you rather be at this very moment?
In heaven.
No, just kidding, I would love to be sitting in my someday dreamhouse, looking over my someday large estate from my someday nicely built deck while I sip a morning cup of coffee and blog on my laptop.

Main Course
When was the last time you learned something new?
At the postal training, believe it or not. I learned that donuts were actually created for a member of the Pony Express by his wife so that he could easily carry bread with him and eat it without stopping.

Dessert
Fill in the blank: I have RIDDEN A ROLLER COASTER ONCE but I haven’t GOTTEN ON ONE SINCE. Few things terrify me as much as that plunge down the hill. Except maybe Baby Chrissy...

Have a happy weekend everyone!!

Thursday's Thirteen

2007-07-25T18:52:00.000-07:00

Though I really love the new mail route I'm working on, I had forgotten a lot of the hazards of delivering mail in a rural area. So for those who might be interested, here goes...

1. Snakes: Yes folks, we have a bunch of snakes in Oklahoma and many are poisonous. We've got to deal with copperheads, rattlesnakes, and water moccasins. With the recent flooding on my route, I've seen several moccasins slithering across the road this week. I also saw a big black snake up on a customer's porch. Needless to say, I did not get out and go to the door!

2. Wasps and bees: I've fought off several wasp attacks this week. They're nesting right now and they love nothing better than to set up housekeeping in mailboxes! (Picture Mz. Jackson using your copy of Woman's World or Family Circle to fend off a red wasp attack) I had a hornet fly in the truck with me this week and managed to get the window down to let him out. I had a red wasp fly in with me today and I couldn't get him out, so we battled and I won. In other words, he died. I felt bad, but it was me or him...

3. Other bugs that bite instead of sting: Some boxes get filled with black or red ants who really resent my opening their new home. I also have to watch for biting flies, horse flies, and mosquitos, all of whom would love nothing better than to feast on Mz. Jackson.

4. Deer: These sweet creatures love to come leaping out of nowhere and into the path of oncoming traffic. I do not want to hurt a deer, nor do I want to have an accident. So I'm always on the lookout.

5. Protective dogs: I almost jumped out of my skin today when a cocker spaniel (who badly needed a trim) came lunging at my arm today as I reached to put mail in a box. I still haven't calmed my heartbeat.

6. The occasional perverted client: I haven't had this happen on my new route yet, but in the past I've had dirty old men come out and make suggestive comments at the box. A fellow female carrier had one customer who would come stand buck naked in his glass doorway when she drove up to the box.

7. Farm machinery: When you're on a narrow country road and you cross paths with a huge hay bailer, you'd best find a place to pull over. That's all I can say.

8. Speed demon cowboys: Cowboys and farm boys are great to have around when you have a flat tire or need your truck pulled out of a ditch. But they like to take those country roads fast in their pickups, so look out! Yee hah!

9. Children: My heart is in my throat when children come running to the box to get their mail. I live in terror of accidentally running over a child, so I'm especially careful.

10. Jewelry on my right hand: You know that little latch on the top of your typical mailbox? Get your ring caught on it as you are pulling away and you could break your arm or rip it out of the socket. So I move my ring to my left hand til I'm done working.

11. Sunburn on my right arm: Mz. Jackson is part Cherokee and so tans easily, but even she needs to remember to wear sunscreen on that right arm. Not only is one tan arm a bit unattractive, but after a while that arm starts to burn, and if I'm not careful I'll end up looking like a dried up piece of leather.

12. Trains: I cross a major train track five times during the course of my route. It would be really easy to forget to look for trains. But I don't want to get smashed, so I do.

13. My own stupid driving mistakes: Needless to say, I am like most drivers in that my own mistakes cause me the most problems. So I try to stay off the cell phone (it's not illegal to talk and drive here~yet...) and to not look at the mail while I'm driving.

Be safe out there everybody!

Scroll Down for Wordless Wednesday...

2007-07-24T17:37:00.000-07:00

Well, the Prodigal Daughter has finally returned to the fold. My training for my new job is finally complete. I am working as a part-time rural carrier for the U.S. Postal Service. What is funny is that I worked as a carrier for over ten years and then quit for a while, but they still made me go through all that training again. That's a government job for you.

Last time I worked as a rural carrier, the area I carried in was anything but rural. It was mostly suburban. This time, I am carrying in a farm community with some of the most beautiful scenery you can imagine. Some of my customer's houses even sit on the lake. I will be working there a couple of days a week and I know I'm going to enjoy it. Eventually I will get some pictures to show you all just how lovely it really is.

I've missed you all and can't wait to catch up on what's been going on around our blogosphere!

Wordless Wednesday

2007-07-24T17:29:00.000-07:00

Check first post for explanation of this slice of Americana...

Time flies...

2007-06-26T17:59:00.001-07:00

Jiminy Christmas, I haven't written anything on my blog since Friday. My only excuse is that I've had to go to training for my new job this week. I will be back on track as soon as possible and I'll be glad because I miss visiting with you guys! Take care.

Friday's Feast, June 22

2007-06-22T12:41:00.000-07:00

Friday's Feast

More than just a meal...

Appetizer
Name a funny habit you have.
I cannot touch a public restroom handle after I've washed my hands. I either use a paper towel to open or go to great lengths to avoid touching the handle with my bare hands. I've even used my foot!

Soup
If you could instantly know how to play a musical instrument, which one would you pick?
Definitely the piano. I had five years of lessons and still can only play the most basic melodies. But my brother played classical music by ear, which made me highly jealous. I still am not over it...
Also, I can so see myself playing the drums. I got rhythm, baby!

Salad
How long is your hair?
About down to my bra strap, and longer if you straighten out all the waves and curli-cues.

Main Course
When was the last time you forgave someone, and who was it?
I forgave Mr. Jackson last night after we got into one of our rare pull-out-all the stops, stupid arguments. I hope he forgave me, too! He's called me from work three times today just to say hi, so I think I'm off the hook.

Dessert
What is your favorite kitchen appliance?
Oo, I love my flat topped stove! So much easier to clean than the old kind.

Thursday's Thirteen

2007-06-20T13:08:00.000-07:00

While my teens were gone to camp last week, I had time to reflect on how my life had changed since they entered a new phase of life. And so, here are...

THIRTEEN SIGNS YOU HAVE TEENAGERS IN THE HOUSE

1. There are thirty~seven messages in your voice mail and only one of them is for you.

2. The words "Mom can I borrow some money?" actually mean, "Mom, can I HAVE some money which you will never see again in this lifetime?"

3. You wash a dozen towels one day only to find them heaped in a damp, mildewy mess on the bathroom floor the next morning. This is especially true if you have teenaged girls, who think they have to use one towel for their bodies, one for their hair, and another to lay on the floor as a rug.

Note: Your requests that the aforementioned problem could be remedied by hanging the towels up are met with the same expressions of disgust you would receive had you asked them to wear someone else's dirty underwear.

4. You suddenly find out your father was right: Money doesn't grow on trees, you don't own the electric company, and an idle mind really is the devil's workshop.

5. If you get within ten feet of your teen's phone conversations, you are treated as if you have committed a privacy offense of Watergate proportions. However, if you are having a private conversation, your teenager's eavesdropping is "No big deal."

6. The bathroom cabinet is so cluttered with toiletries and makeup that you could supply the cast of a Broadway musical with makeup for a month, and yet...

7. ...the toilet paper roller is always empty. It's truly amazing that they can't figure out how to work this simple device, considering that they can run circles around mom and dad while programming the cell phone or the computer.

8. The shower or bath is cluttered with countless bottles of shampoo and conditioner of varying types~all about one quarter full of product.

9. Your spawn nags for chips and popcorn to nosh on, but is the first to blame you when she puts on a couple of extra pounds, because she claims you don't provide "healthy choices."

10. The whole family is constantly on the edge of being high due to fingernail polish and polish remover fumes.

11. You spend a bunch of money on clothing your teen wants because ten of her friends like it only to see it never worn again because one person sends what she perceives as a scathing look in her direction.

12. You drive them and their friends around so much you begin to feel like a chauffeur~except without the tips and the partition window you can roll up to shut out the noise and giggling.

13. Suddenly (and this one is a perk) when they come to your bedroom door and find it locked, they quickly retreat because they finally have an inkling of what might be going on in there~and they don't want to think about it!

Have a great Thursday!

A man I admire...

2007-06-19T14:14:00.001-07:00

Wordless Wednesday, June 20, 2007

This man is one of the most famous Cherokee (Tsa-La-Gi) who ever lived. Does anyone know why?

SE-QUO-YAH – a lithograph from Indian Tribes, McKinney and Hall, 1856. This lithograph is from the portrait painted by Charles Bird King from life in 1828.

Seems like yesterday...

2007-06-18T11:39:00.000-07:00

About twenty six years ago this week, I met my husband, Mr. Jackson for the first time. I was only twelve but he made quite an impression on me from the moment I met him. But it was an unexpected "bump" that set my little heart to crushing on Mr. J.

It was the middle of the week and we were at church camp. Our youth group was playing volleyball against another youth group. I wasn't a very good volleyball player~in fact, I wasn't good at any sport, period~but neither was most of the rest of our team. However, we were winning because Mr. Jackson WAS a good volleyball player and was pretty much hitting the ball all over the court for the rest of us losers.

Church camp volleyball rules are pretty loose, by the way.

Anyway, Mr. Jackson, who liked to win but who was very nice about it, had figured out that if a ball came my way, it wasn't going to make its way back over the net~and so had the other team, who of course, tried to hit to the weakest spot. We were nearing a win, but the ball was coming toward me. As I stood like a deer caught in the headlights, staring up at the volleyball that was catapulting toward me, suddenly Mr. Jackson shot over from clear across the court and whacked that ball right back over the net.

And knocked me right onto my ass.

For a moment, I lay there, stunned, looking up into the blue sky from which the ball had been screaming toward me only seconds before. Then I saw Mr. Jackson's face, his eyes as blue as the sky above him, as he bent over to see if I was all right.

"Omigosh, I am so sorry!" he said. "Are you okay?"

I nodded slowly.

He helped me up and brushed me off as everyone gathered around me to check for broken bones and sprains. He put my arm around his shoulders and helped me limp over to a safe spot on the sidelines. I wasn't really all that hurt, but I have to admit I milked the moment for all it was worth. When I was off my feet, he bent over me again. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I nodded again and smiled at him. He flashed his straight white smile with the left cheek dimple and his eyes sparkled as he patted me on the leg before going off to lead our team to victory.

That was the first time Mr. Jackson took my breath away. But it wouldn't be the last.

Not by a long shot.

Friday's Feast the Seventh

2007-06-15T12:10:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
Fill in the blank: The best thing about where I live is how nice people are. They smile and open doors for you even if they don't know you. My sister, who lives in Houston Texas, often remarks on this when she comes to visit.
Also, I like that my state is shaped like a frying pan. When we say "panhandle" we mean it!

Soup
Create a new name for a deodorant (like “Flower Fresh” or “Shower Scent”).

Stink-be-gone or The Stinkorcist. After all, isn't that what deodorant is really all about?

Salad
What was the last piece of software you installed onto your computer?
Microsoft Office Suite 2007 for Windows Vista

Main Course
If you were to receive a superlative award today beginning with the words ”Most likely to…”, what would the rest of the phrase say?
Hmm, there are so many...
Most likely to forget her keys.
Most likely to forget where she put her keys.
Most likely to lose her keys in her own purse.
Most likely to lock herself out of the house.
Are you sensing a theme here?

Dessert
What two colors do you like to wear together?
I love to wear brown with any complementing color like red or blue.

Now that's what I call a plumber...

2007-06-13T11:33:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday

The year I was born

2007-06-12T11:25:00.000-07:00

I saw this quiz over at Skittles, so I decided to see what my birth year brought to the world.

In 1968 (the year you were born)

Lyndon B. Johnson is president of the US

North Koreans seize USS Pueblo and 83 man crew in the Sea of Japan

Communist troops attack Saigon and 30 province capitals in the "Tet Offensive"

Martin Luther King is assassinated in Memphis, TN

Senator Robert F. Kennedy is shot in California after celebrating presidential primary victories

American troops destroy a town in South Vietnam in the "My Lai Massacre"

Peggy Fleming wins Olympics figure skating gold medal

The United States Congress repeals the requirement for a gold reserve to back US currency

Student protesters at Columbia University in New York City take over administration buildings and shut down the university

LL Cool J, Lisa Marie Presley, Jeri Ryan, Lucy Lawless, Celine Dion, Traci Lords, Tony Hawk, Kylie Minogue, and Sammy Sosa are born

Detroit Tigers win the World Series

Green Bay Packers win Superbowl II

Montreal Canadians win the Stanley Cup

2001: A Space Odyssey and Planet of the Apes are the top grossing movies

The rock musical Hair opens on Broadway

The Beatles' White Album and Simon and Garfunkel's Bookends are released

Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In, debuts on NBC

What Happened the Year You Were Born?

Geez, two major figures were assasinated that year! Maybe I should have held on in the womb for about another month and made it to 1969. But my momma probably wouldn't have been too wild about that idea!

Friday's Feast the Sixth

2007-06-08T04:14:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
What do you consider to be the ultimate snack food?
Peanut butter sandwiches...YUM!

Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 as highest), about how popular is your last name?
I'd say Jackson is probably one of the more common names. And there is a song written about "Mz. Jackson," so I would say 9.
"Sorry, Mz. Jackson, I am for reeealll..."

Salad
Who is your all-time favorite sitcom character, and why?

My all time favorite sitcom character would have to be Barney Fife from the Andy Griffith Show. Here are just a few favorite moments:
Barney only getting one bullet for his gun, which he must keep in his pocket lest he shoot himself in the foot.
Barney dressing in drag as an old lady so he can catch a jewel thief and actually believing that he could convince someone his ugly ass is a woman.
Barney accidentally getting drunk because Otis spiked the water jug.
Barney dressing up in a wedding dress as a decoy to fool Ernest T. Bass, who thinks he is his beloved "Charlene."

Main Course
Do you shop online? If so, name some sites you like to browse for goodies.
I don't often shop online, but when I do, I generally go to Chadwicks of Boston. I have checked out Zappos.com as well, but have never purchased anything there yet.

Dessert
Fill in the blank: I think ___________ should be ___________.
I think my bank account should be full of money.

Thursday's Thirteen 06/07/07

2007-06-07T11:38:00.001-07:00

Thirteen Things I will do when I win the Powerball Lottery Jackpot:

And yes, you scoffers, I do believe I'm going to win it!

1. Keep my mouth shut and claim the money anonymously. This is going to be the hardest part, because I will probably want to dance in the streets and roll around naked in a huge pit of money fresh from the bank. But for my own safety and the safety of those around me, I'm going to ZIP IT, ZIP IT, ZIP IT!!

2. Move to a more secure location. Even though I plan to keep my mouth shut, people are bound to find out, so I want us to be in a new (bigger) place with a guard gate. A pool would be nice, also.

3. Set up a large portion in annuities so I can live off the income, rather than just going out and spending it on anything and everything my little ole heart desires. Mz. Jackson does have a practical side.

4. Set up another portion as a charitable trust for the causes I believe in. I've already got these picked out, so sorry Foundation for the Eradication of Toenail Fungus and other such ~ahem~ noble causes.

5. Set up trust funds for my children so they can have a decent start in life and complete whatever education they desire. I have no intention of telling my children how much I won though. Not that I don't trust my lovable spawn, but I have heard of the Menendez brothers. Mz. Jackson also has a suspicious side.

6. Pay off all outstanding debts. And DON'T CREATE MORE!!

7. Help my parents retire early. My dad has two more years and for his health, I really think he needs to retire now. When they retire early, I would like them to move down here so my mom can be closer to her family.

8. Move my sister Mz. Blue Eyes and her husband onto the farm we presently own (remember, we will have moved by then!). For reasons I won't go into, Mz. Blue Eyes needs a little extra care, so this would be ideal for her and for my parents.

9. Buy a brand new Toyota Tundra Extend Cab pickup for Mr. Jackson. Oklahoma Sooner Red.

10. Buy a brand new Nissan Titan Pickup (extended cab also) for me. Candy Apple Red. This country girl loves a pickup.

11. Finish my education at the University of Tulsa. I've always wanted to go here, but even with scholarships, it is too expensive.

12. Help relatives and friends in any way possible without letting everyone know we won the lottery. Again, Menendez brothers. I think I've been watching a few too many of those true crime stories...

13. Go on a nice long vacation with the family. Or maybe send them on a nice long vacation and stay home alone to take bubble baths and revel in the glory of my new found fortune.

What would all of you do if you won the lottery? I'd love to hear your "two cents."

If you want something badly enough...

2007-06-06T11:28:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Tagged by Us Danes...

2007-06-02T14:18:00.001-07:00

And here's a tag I received earlier from Shaz at Us Danes...

Answer each question with just one word. (It's harder than it looks!)

1. Where is your cell phone? Purse
2. Relationship? Solid
3. Your hair? Coarse
4. Work? Always
5. Your sister? Baby
6. Your favorite thing? Chocolate
7. Your dream last night? Unremembered
8. Your favorite drink? Chai
9. Your dream car? Mustang
10. The room you’re in? Cluttered
11. Your shoes? Comfy
12. Your fears? Conquering
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Novelist
14. Who did you hang out with this weekend? Family
15. What you’re not good at? Waiting
16. Muffin? Blueberry
17. One of your wish list items? Jackpot
18. Where you grew up? United States
19. The last thing you did? Drove
20. What are you wearing? Shorts
21. What aren’t you wearing? headband
22. Your pet? Lady
23. Your computer? Stolen
24. Your life? Busy
25. Your mood? Anxious
26. Missing? Grandpa
27. What are you thinking about right now? Bills
28. Your car? Broken
29. Your kitchen? Spacious
30. Your summer? Hot
31. Your favorite color? Blue
32. When is the last time you laughed? Morning
33. Last time you cried? May
34. School? Unfinished
35. Love? Mr. Jackson (Okay, technically 2 words, but...)

I tag Rebecca and Comedy Plus for this one.

Tagged by Rebecca!

2007-06-02T09:00:00.001-07:00

I was tagged last week by Rebecca and as usual, I'm late! So here goes:

1 person who has changed the course of your life for the better:
There are so many! Family members, friends, my husband (especially my husband!)...But I would have to say in the last few years, my friend Rebecca has really helped me change my life for the better. Before we started hanging out, I was still that "preacher's kid," always afraid to say and write what I really meant for fear of offending someone. Rebecca has helped me to come out of my shell and to write the things I really always wanted.

2 teachers who have contributed to your learning:
Mrs. Belt, my eighth and ninth grade English teacher, who first encouraged me in my writing endeavors.
Mrs. Slate, my sophomore English teacher, who continued where Ms. Belt left off, even driving me to a big ceremony at the state capital when I placed in a statewide essay contest.

2 colleagues who make your job worthwhile:
Again, Rebecca, who I write with, definitely makes the top of the list.
Then I would say my friend, Vicky, who I will be seeing when I carry mail part-time. I've worked with her before and she is always so much fun, never trying to stir up trouble and always working hard while still having a good time.

4 people who make you feel special:
Mr. Jackson, when he tells me I'm beautiful
Her Royal Highness, Jock Genius and Sweet Baby when they call me Mommy, tell me they love me, and laugh at my jokes and smart ass remarks.

5 people you need in your life & why?
Mr. Jackson. I started going out with him when I was fifteen years old and I can't imagine life without him. He's always made me feel special and loved.

My parents: My parents are very loving and supportive and I couldn't get by without that. Plus my dad is as funny as hell.

My kids: They keep my wits sharpened and give me hope for the future.

My siblings: They keep me grounded and help me to laugh at myself.

Grandma Ruth and Grandma Hazel: How could I get along without these women? I don't like to think about it.

Rebecca: Everyone needs a good buddy like this one! I have laughed more with this person than just about anyone in my whole life.

I know this is a lot more than five, but I just can't narrow it down. If I keep sitting here, I'm going to think of even more people, so I'd better quit now!

I think everyone has been tagged on this one already, but just in case, I tag Skittles, Squirrel, and Fancy Pants.

Feather Crown

2007-05-30T12:49:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday 5/30/07

S.O.B.'s and other Surprise Party Tales

2007-05-29T06:42:00.000-07:00

SURPRISE!!!

Not.

As many of you know, my daddy just celebrated his birthday about a week and a half ago (I posted a WW in honor of it). This weekend, we had a special surprise party for him at my home. And so I have some advice for all of you who might be entertaining such a notion yourselves for someone you love.

1. First, consider whether you live in a family full of big-mouthed people . By this, I mean people who would get kicked out of the priesthood or disbarred from the legal profession immediately due to the giant orifices with the flapping tongues in the fronts of their heads. Don't host a party with the word "surprise" in front of it if you have such a family. Just don't.

Not mentioning any names but here's Dad and the bean spiller (Aunt Deb) herself...

2. If the person for whom you are giving the party cannot stand not knowing what's going on and is like a bloodhound on the trail at the first hint of a secret, again, DON'T MAKE YOUR PARTY A SURPRISE ONE.

3. If the person for whom you are giving the party should happen to find out about said party (and he will) and you decide to keep his knowledge a secret so as not to ruin the experience for everyone else (especially those who have traveled hundreds of miles in one weekend just to be there), THINK AGAIN. The other parties will find out the truth at the last minute and BLAME IT ON YOU!!! even though you were not the one who squealed.

4. If those parties who found out at the last minute you kept the honoree's knowledge a secret should get mad at you and then abandon you in the kitchen to do all the work while they go off into the other room like the grand host and hostess and talk to the other guests (all the while talking about you behind your back) DO NOT CONTINUE TO SLAVE LIKE A MARTYR IN THE KITCHEN. Go right into the room with them, sit your ass in the chair, kick your feet up and say, "We'll eat when I get some help."

5. Do not allow your brother
(who used to pick on you mercilessly just to get a rise out of you as you were growing up) to bait you with accusations until you scream, "You sons of bitches!" no matter how much the parties mentioned in Point 4 deserve the title. They will only laugh at you later and your temper tantrum will go down in family lore.

Mz. Jackson, when she is not calling her brother and sister Sons of Bitches.

6. Do not blame your husband, your only remaining source of help, just because he's the one who blurted out that the honoree already knows about the party. He will get pissed, tell you off, retreat to the bedroom and watch baseball in an absolute state of rebellion.

7. Do not expect your honoree to be on time just because he knows about the party. Something will happen to delay him, and everyone will grow hungry and tired of rushing to the window each time the dogs bark at a passing car. Then the crowd will begin to plot mischief against the honoree, like disappearing before he gets there or flipping him off in unison when he emerges through the front door.

8. Always cook a lot of extra food, even more than you would normally imagine to need for a surprise party. When the honoree is late, the guests will grow so famished that when it finally is time to eat, they will load up their plates so fast the food will disappear and there won't be enough to go around.

9. And finally, always remember that it is not the surprise part that is important. What is important is that you honored a person you loved and are so glad to have in your life~even if they can be a royal snoopy shitass who enjoyed sniffing out the secret more than the surprise itself and then sat back and grinned like a Cheshire cat at the mayhem he caused. ~Mz. Jackson lets out a grand, sentimental sniff and wipes her eyes with her embroidered hanky~ I love you, Daddy!

Party on, people!

Note: A special thanks goes out to my little sister-in-law, Fancy Pants, who at least helped me make devilled eggs, even though she'd just driven hundreds of miles. She was NOT included in the SOB remark...

No surprise here!

2007-05-28T13:05:00.000-07:00

Mr. Jackson would tell you there's no surprise here!

I found this quiz over at Rebecca's and it was a lot of fun!

Your Seduction Style: The Charmer

You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement.

You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you.

By establishing this deep connection quickly, people feel under your power.

And then you've got them exactly where you want them!

What Is Your Seduction Style?

And here are the results for Mr. Jackson: No surprise here either!

Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires.

And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek.

You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships.

It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Friday's Feast the Fifth

2007-05-25T06:37:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
Name a sound you like to hear.
Vivaldi's "Winter"
Raindrops hitting a tin roof
Thunder in the distance.

Soup
What is your favorite kind of cheese?
Longhorn cheddar cheese. In fact, it's my favorite food in the whole world. A good piece of room temperature longhorn cheddar cheese, some apple slices and fresh warm bread right out of the oven is a feast to me!

Salad
Do you sleep late on Saturday mornings? Why or why not?
It's hard for me to sleep late on Saturday (a)because I'm a morning person and (b)because I'm used to getting up early all week. 8 a.m. is sleeping in for me.

Main Course
When was the last time you forgot something? What was it, and how long did it take to remember it?
I forgot my bank card at a drive through teller, remembered it about thirty minutes later and then went back to find it was stolen. Yikes, bad thing to forget.

Dessert
Fill in the blank: I notice a man when he has dark hair and bright blue eyes.
By the way, Mr. Jackson has both these qualities.
I'm also very good at sensing when people are in a bad mood or having a hard day.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Thursday's Thirteen 05/24/07

2007-05-24T07:29:00.000-07:00

It's a rainy day here in Nuda, Oklahoma, a perfect day to curl up in a big leather recliner with a book. As you can see from my photo on the right there, I am often accused of having my nose in a book anyway, rainy day or no. So here are 13 of my favorite books:

1. Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
As a teenager, I read this book at least 20 times. I'm not kidding. My mother thought something was wrong with me. But I couldn't help it. Scarlett fascinated me with her high spirited ways.

2. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
To me, this is one of the greatest pieces of American literature ever written.

3. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
More of a novelette, but a powerful story nonetheless. "Tell me about the rabbits, George..."

4. As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
This book is morbid, but wow, what a challenge! If you love to read literature and try to puzzle the pieces together, this one is a winner.

5. True Grit by Charles Portis
Who could ever forget the indomitable Mattie Ross and her colorful hero, Rooster Cogburn?

6. Any Short Story Collection by O. Henry
I still laugh every time I read "Ransom of Red Chief" and cry every time I read "The Gift of the Magii"

7. The Green Mile by Stephen King
This book is so powerful, I couldn't put it down. Stephen King doesn't get enough credit for his literary works.

8. Delores Claiborne by Stephen King
Again, Stephen King gets not enough credit for being literary. This was one of the most masterfully crafted first person works I've ever read. I was captivated from the very first sentence and have read it several times.

9. Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt
It is very rare that someone can tell a tragic story and have you laughing just as often as you are crying. But Frank McCourt managed it.

10. The Nanny Diaries by Nicola Kraus and Emma McLaughlin
I think the reason I like this book so much is because it is such a true reflection on one segment of our culture. Like The Great Gatsby, it takes a closer look at class system divisions that still exist, whether we want to admit it or not.

11. A Painted House by John Grisham
With this book, Grisham departed from his usual fare of legal thrillers and produced what I consider to be a very literary work. Also as the child of a man who left the discouraging world of farming behind, I can identify with the book's main character.

12. Shannah by Kathleen Woodwiss
Okay, I admit it! Occasionally (and that is VERY occasionally) I will pick up a romance book. This is an oldie but goodie which I liked because of the strong and deeply flawed main character Shannah. There was a lot more to this story than romance and I pick a copy up every once in a while and read it again, just because I feel like it!

13. Rebecca by Daphne DuMaurier
I generally am not wild about English literature (although my daughter, Her Royal Highness loves it, as does my sister Mz. Opera) but this book is absolutely captivating.

There are many other books I love, but these are just some of my absolute favorites, all of which I have read several times. As you can see, I have very eclectic tastes. Feel free to share any of your own favorites in the comments.

Wordless Wednesday 05/23/07

2007-05-23T05:28:00.001-07:00

Earthquake Cake

2007-05-22T08:15:00.000-07:00

So I go to my friend Rebecca's house on Sunday because they are having a get-together for her daughter Melanie's graduation. I decide that my contribution to the barbeque will be my famous beanie weenies, which I am always requested to bring to practically every get-together I go to, and a big double layer chocolate cake with sprinkles.

This is what happened to the cake.

It was beautiful at first: moist and dark and just oozing with rich, creamy icing. I walked away for about three minutes and came back to find the San Andreas fault had cracked my cake wide open. I tried to fill the fault with icing, but alas, it only grew bigger as a result of my efforts.

Mz. Jackson pauses for a moment here to wipe away a small tear with her embroidered hanky.

But all was not lost! Those at the gathering quickly reassured me that looks don't matter when it comes to chocolate cake. To prove their words true, they promptly lined up after dinner and made history of the earthquake cake, kindly complimenting me all the while. Soon all that was left of this natural disaster was a few crumbs on a brightly colored plate.

Wasn't that nice of them to do that just to make me feel better?

Make it Happen!

2007-05-21T07:20:00.000-07:00

Scroll down for my pathetic attempt at Manic Monday and also for A Word from Grandma Ruth

My friend, Rebecca, told me about this song today and it really lifted my spirits. I figured somebody else might need a lift today as well, so here you go!

Manic Monday 5/21/07

2007-05-21T06:57:00.001-07:00

Manic Monday word for this week.

Graphics.

Hmmm.

I'm thinking.

I'm touching my finger to my lips.

I'm scratching my head.

I'm staring out the window.

I'm sinking down in my chair with frustration.

I'm raking my fingers through my hair.

I'm pulling at my hair and gnashing my teeth.

I'm throwing some very GRAPHIC words and gestures out into the stratosphere.

I'm sighing in complete resignation.

Folks, I got nothing. Graphics equals writers block for me today.

So I shall simply visit you all and enjoy the day, filled with jealousy at the creative genius I shall surely find at the sites of my fellow bloggers.

A Word from Grandma Ruth 5/20/07

2007-05-20T07:30:00.000-07:00

Well, folks, it is Sunday, and as promised, here is this week's word from Grandma Ruth...

One day, Grandma and I were discussing how women seemed to be wired up to have negative body images. I related to her how my friend, Rebecca, and I had asked each other "if you could change one thing about your body, what would it be?"

Grandma immediately piped up and said, "Well, if I could get rid of this weight I gained after Jack (her husband) died, that would be my answer."

"But think back to when you were my age," I said. "When you were in your thirties, was there something then that you would have changed if you could? I mean something that would seem impossible."

"Well, let me see," she said. She leaned back in her chair and thought.

And thought.

And thought some more.

Finally, she looked over at me, with a twinkle in her big old blue eyes, grinned real big and said,

"I wouldn't have changed a damn thing."

And that, my friends, is this week's word from Grandma Ruth.

For a Good Laugh Visit...

2007-05-18T07:34:00.000-07:00

Okay, if you're in the mood for a good laugh, you need to drop by The Wooden Porch and read about her visit to Bland. I got a real kick out of this one because I lived in a tiny town like it until I was in 7th grade. Yes, people, places like this really do exist.

Hilarious! Unless you're living there, of course...

Friday's Feast the Fourth

2007-05-18T06:32:00.000-07:00

FRIDAY'S FEAST THE FOURTH

Appetizer

List 3 emotions you experienced this week.

Fear when my bank card was stolen.
Anger at the bastards who stole my bank card.
Relief when my bank card was cancelled before any more damage could be done.

Soup

Name a car you’d love to have.

I would like a candy apple red 1965 Ford Mustang convertible, with white leather seats. Can't you see Mz. Jackson and her friend Sunnybrook Rebecca cruising around town in this baby?

Salad

Describe your typical morning routine.

Mr. Jackson gets up at 5 a.m., I listen to him shower while I still snooze, ha ha! If he is feeling frisky, we're up at 4:30...Just kidding! Mr. Jackson is not a morning person and would probably growl at me if I even spoke before he had his shower.

At 5:30 I get up and see him off, then get my teenagers up to get dressed and~here's the wierd part~I let them go back to bed for a while. This has been their request, to get up early enough that they could snooze, and since I'm up anyway, why not? Then I blog or write til time to get them up for the second time at 7 a.m. to comb their hair and get their shoes on before we're off to school.

May I take a moment here to interject that Her Royal Highness and Jock Genius are neither one morning persons, whereas Sweet Baby and I are quite chipper in the morning? This makes for quite an interesting combination on the way to school.

After I drop them off, I come home (talking on the phone to my friend Rebecca on the way) and then feed my horse (otherwise known as Lady Scarlett, the Great Dane) and the other dogs, blog/write some more before either doing household chores or going to do interviews for the local publication for which I work.

Main Course

Have you ever emailed someone famous? If so, who, and what did you say to them? Did they reply? Yes, I emailed Stephen King to tell him how great his book The Green Mile was. No, I didn't get an answer, though I plan to meet that man someday. :( However, my brother emailed back and forth with Anne Rice once and he said that was really cool. Can I live vicariously through him?

Dessert
Do you listen to podcasts? If so, which ones?
No, no podcasts.

Thursday's Thirteen 5/17/07

2007-05-17T03:55:00.001-07:00

Thirteen of my Favorite Chick Flicks, in no particular order.

1. While You Were Sleeping: This is about the cutest movie I've ever seen. Sandra Bullock's character, Lucy, all filled with guilt because a family thinks she's their comatose son's fiance is pure entertainment. Lucy all filled with even MORE guilt when she falls in love with their OTHER son, is even better.

2. Hope Floats: Sandra Bullock's character should have never left a town where Harry Connick Jr. lived in the first place. Yeah, the pic on this one is bigger, because I think Harry is muy SEXY!

3. My Big Fat Greek Wedding: Makes me laugh out loud and isn't John Corbett a dream?

4. Steel Magnolias: Tear Jerker. If you need a good cry, rent this one.

5. Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood: Another tear jerker. The scene where Ashley Judd has the kids by herself and one is shitting and one is throwing up is something every mother on the planet can relate to.

6. Sleeping With the Enemy: My favorite scene is where she and Mr. Drama Coach are dancing in the prop room to Sweet Sue. Another favorite scene is where she shoots her abusive husband right after she calls the police to tell them she's shot an intruder. Die, Bastard!

7. Terms of Endearment: The mother of all tear jerkers. The scene I always remember is when Debra Winger's character, who is dying of cancer, tells her surly oldest son that someday he will remember how he treated her and wonder if she knew he loved her. "I know you love me, Tommy." Jeez, I'm choking up right now!

8. How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days: Anything starring Matt Mac is going to hold my attention for a good long time. And their warped and out of tune rendition of "You're so Vain" about made me pee my pants laughing the first time I heard it.

9. When Harry Met Sally: Meg Ryan's impression of an orgasm in the middle of a crowded restaurant has gone down in movie history.

10. You've Got Mail: Tom Hanks is just adorable in this one. He and Meg Ryan have what is known as true movie screen chemistry.

11. Sleepless in Seattle: Again, Tom Hanks. Adorable.

12. Footloose: Don't you just love a movie that makes you want to dance?

13. Pretty Woman: Man finds a prostitute on street, gives her everything she wants, makes her discover everything she could be. Rides up on his white horse and whisks her away at the end. Modern day Cinderella story.

And yes, Mr. Jackson has endured each and every one of these movies with me like a trooper, even though I know he'd rather be watching a shoot-em-up-drive-your-car-into-a-fire-or-off-a-cliff action movie. I love you, Mr. Jackson!

Wordless Wednesday 05/16/07

2007-05-15T18:46:00.000-07:00

Posted in honor of my father, Vietnam veteran, who celebrates his 60th birthday this week.

The Green Dress Appears again~

2007-05-15T06:42:00.000-07:00

As some of you may have noticed, I posted about Scarlett O'Hara and her green drapery dress in honor of the Manic Monday word "Green" yesterday. But when Travis stopped by to visit, he reminded me of another occasion on which that famous green dress made an appearance:

"I saw it in the window and I just couldn't resist it!"

Ladies and Gentlemen, an unforgettable moment in televison history: Carol Burnett dressed as Scarlett in the green drapery dress, with an extra accessory that Scarlett forgot to add.

By the way, does anyone have any idea what that is on top of Carol's head?
Happy Tuesday, everybody!

A Word from Grandma Ruth 5/14/07

2007-05-14T12:04:00.000-07:00

Note: Starting next week, Sundays will belong to Grandma Ruth. So drop by on Sunday afternoons to hear the latest from the greatest character I've ever known...

One day, Grandma and I were discussing a local man whom she had known since he was young. She was relating to me how the young man's parents worked hard and sent him to college in the late sixties so that perhaps he could avoid being drafted to Viet Nam.

"They scraped together the money and pulled all kinds of strings to get him in, but it didn't make any difference. He ended up dropping out and going to war anyway," Grandma said. "He went there a whole semester, but didn't learn a blamed thing. The only course he majored in was intercourse."

And that, my friends, is this week's word from Grandma Ruth.

Manic Monday 5/14/07

2007-05-14T09:36:00.000-07:00

Manic Monday Word: Green

Do you recognize this dress?

This green dress represents strength, endurance and ingenuity in the face of absolute destitution.

This is the dress that Scarlett O'Hara fashioned out of her mother's draperies before going to Atlanta to try to snare Rhett Butler and save Tara.

And here she is at a happier time, again in green, her signature color.

Scarlett: You weren't always nice, but you were always brave and you always endured.

And you always looked good in green.

Happy Mother's Day

2007-05-13T06:02:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day...

This is my mother and her mother the day Mama and Daddy got married.

Happy Mother's Day, Mama and to all the mothers out there as well...

I KID YOU NOT...5/12/07

2007-05-12T06:23:00.000-07:00

This Saturday's "I KID YOU NOT," featuring stuff from the news you don't really NEED to know but that I'm going to tell you about anyway!

Looks like mama cow had a little fling with the hog in the next stall, doesn't it? Gives with an oink, oink here and a moo moo there a whole new meaning...

What the hell is going on over there at Old MacDonald's farm anyway?

For more on the story, go here.

Holy Smokes, Folks!

2007-05-11T13:28:00.001-07:00

I saw a tornado today! It was right at the front of an incoming storm system. I was driving through one of those prairie areas where you can see for miles and miles. The sky was blue above me, but about eight miles to the northeast was this storm system on the horizon. Out of the clouds had dropped this long fingerlike tornado, small really. Lasted about 20-30 seconds and then went back into the cloud. What's scary is that there were no warnings out. Yikes. But sometimes those little ones don't show up on radar.
I wish I'd had my camera! It was about the size of this one below, only not quite so bent. It was more straight up and down, but the circumference was about the same. It looked like it just hit prairie area so hopefully no homes were hit. I think we would have heard if any were.

Photo courtesy of NSSL

A word from Grandma Ruth

2007-05-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

Since this is the first Grandma Ruth posting, I shall explain. My grandmother is a character and her words should be preserved. 'Nuff said.

This morning, Grandma and I were discussing promiscuous women we had met in our life and she told me that her great-grandmother was what they used to call a "hussy" or a "rounder." She had been with many men and was married three times (REMEMBER THIS WAS THE 1800'S AND 3 MARRIAGES WAS A LOT!). And get this: all three of her husbands were named Albert.

But according to Grandma Ruth, this was a good thing. "At least when she was making love and she called 'Oh,oh,oh Aaalbert!' she didn't have to worry about calling out the wrong name!"

And that's this week's word from Grandma Ruth.

Friday's Feast the Third

2007-05-11T06:52:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
Tell about a time when you had to be brave.
When my friend and I got lost on the subways of New York City the first time either of us had been there. As I saw we were clearly headed for either Harlem or Brooklyn or some other place we weren't supposed to be going, I started to panic, but I forced myself to keep my head and we got off on the next stop and headed back in the right direction.

Soup
Which upcoming movie are you excited about seeing?
I guess it isn't upcoming since it is already out, but I'm very excited about seeing Spiderman 3! I don't know if they can top the scene where the train riders found out who Spiderman really was when he got hurt (SM 2), but I'm willing to let them try...

Salad
Name an item you try to always have on hand.
Toilet paper. We never had enough when I was growing up, so I make sure my bathroom cabinets are stuffed with it. And I like the good stuff too, soft and lotiony.

Main Course
Imagine the most relaxing room you can think of. Now describe it!
My dream room would be filled with books. The walls would be lined with shelves full of hardback and leatherbound novels--no paperbacks in my relaxation room! One corner would host a big overstuffed leather reading chair, with an ottoman to match. Beside the chair would be an antique table with an old fashioned reading lamp on top of it. Classical music from Beethoven, Vivaldi, or Mozart would be playing softly in the background as I curled up in my big chair with a warm cup of Chai and the latest book I was reading.

Dessert
On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being highest), how spiritual or religious are you?
Probably 7 (one of my lucky numbers). A high number, but I don't push it on others.

Thursday's Thirteen 05/10/07

2007-05-10T08:49:00.000-07:00

Last week's Thursday's Thirteen concentrated on commercial jingles I've always remembered, whether I liked those jingles or not. Then I got to thinking about all the unpleasant subject matter we are unwillingly subjected to because of television advertisement.

I mean, picture it: You're sitting there with your bowl of buttered popcorn and a pleasant beverage, watching an old movie, a reality show, or a sitcom with your family. Then suddenly, your thoughts are totally turned to subjects you just really would rather not think about, especially while eating. And so...

Drumroll, please...

Here are the thirteen subjects I would rather not think about while I am watching television:

1. Hemmorhoids: Hearing about someone's itching, burning hiney is not my idea of great entertainment.

2. Yeast infections or vaginal itching and odor: Talk about embarassing when you're in mixed company! There's a real conversation killer.

3. Birth control, male or female: Don't want to hear about condoms, and I just love hearing about how I could drop dead from a blood clot while someone is encouraging me to take their birth control pill.

4. Personal lubricant: I don't know which KY commercial I hate worse, the cheesy one where the woman's husband perks up at the mention of the word "personal lubricant" or the one where the couple has supposedly done the nasty all night long with KY's help.

5. Adult diapers and bladder leakage: I'm sorry, but these just make me have to go to the bathroom.

6. Constipation or diarrhea: One word: Eeew.

7. Sexually Transmitted diseases: Okay, I just don't want to have to explain this one to my kids in the middle of a pleasant evening.

8. Flatulence: Two women sitting around eating vegetables and talking about Beano? Just ain't gonna happen.

9. Menstrual Periods: We women spend three weeks out of the month trying not to think about "the curse." Why shove it in our faces all the time?

10. Natural Male Enhancement: Bob's Wife may look real happy, but what good does that do the rest of us?

11. Erectile dysfunction/impotence: Can I get an amen from the men in the audience on this one? Especially when they start talking about four hour erections being a possible side effect.

12.Toenail fungus: Those little cartoon characters crawling around on people's toenails creep me out. I already have an aversion to feet anyway, so...

13. Jock itch: This one ranks right up there with vaginal yeast infections. Another mixed company crasher. Can anybody say, awkward...

Have I missed anything? Feel free to add your own to the mix.

Wikepedia Meme, Finally

2007-05-09T14:11:00.000-07:00

I was tagged for this Wikipedia Meme by Comedy Plus a few days ago, but I had an ADD moment and forgot to finish it. Here it is:

Born on the same day...

1887 - Boris Karloff, British actor (d. 1969) known among other things as Frankenstein.

Looks a lot like me before I've had my coffee.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

And in 1859, the illustrious Billy The Kid, American outlaw (d. 1881(?)) was born.

Please God, tell me I'm not this ugly...
_____________________________________________________________________________________

I'm sad to say that in 1990, Roald Dahl (b.1916), author of such beloved works as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and James and the Giant Peach passed away.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
And three historical events which took place on November 23...

1863 - American Civil War: Battle of Chattanooga begins - Union forces led by General Ulysses S. Grant reinforce troops at Chattanooga, Tennessee and counter-attack Confederate troops.

1867 - The Manchester Martyrs were hanged in Manchester, England for rescuing two Irish men from jail

1936 - The first edition of Life is published.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

I think that's it! I think everyone else in the Blogosphere has done this one, but if anyone wants to volunteer, feel free and I'll send it your way.

Recycling, Redneck Style

2007-05-08T19:13:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday 5/09/07

Multiple Choice Question: Romance Books

2007-05-08T09:58:00.000-07:00

You pick up a romance novel off a display at the store. What do you do first?
A. Lust over the hunky dude who is devouring the buxom female on the front cover before flipping it over to read about the plot on the back.

B. Look first to see who wrote it because you choose books by their authors.

C. Read the first few pages to see if the writing is stellar and the plot is engaging.

D. Look around to make sure nobody's watching, then flip through the pages to look for the dirty parts.

E. None of these because you wouldn't be caught dead with a romance book in public~that's what Amazon.com is for.

F. (recently added option) I wouldn't be caught dead with a romance book period, ever.

Note: This important research has been brought to you by NAHNS (Nosy as Hell Neighbors Society). "We make it our business to know yours."

Mz. Jackson, Six Feet Tall in Heels

2007-05-08T07:40:00.000-07:00

This is a story about a very special pair of shoes. Warning: It's just a teensy bit risque, but I think y'all can handle it.

I first see them at Kohls in the shoe department. At this time, I am working at a new job that requires me to dress up and am looking for shoes that go well with professional type skirts. There is an abundance of cute shoes to choose from, shoes with jewels and stones and ribbons, but I pass by most of them with a mere longing glance. They all have high heels and as usual, I am seeking flats, ones that don’t make me look like an old woman. Because, you see my friends, I am five foot eight plus in my bare feet—which makes me almost six feet tall in the typical pair of heels.

But then I see these.

With their soft suede and gently scalloped edges. Black to go with most any professional attire. And they’re on clearance. What could be more perfect?

There is only one hang up. The heels on these babies measure at least three inches, maybe more. Instantly, I can see myself, Mz. Jackson towering over everyone as I walk into Quik Trip for my morning cup of Chai Latte, looking right over most everyone else's head and feeling like an Amazon.

And yet, I cannot resist temptation. I reverently take these beauties from the box and slip them on. Oh my God, I never knew my calves and ankles could look like that. I can hear my eldest, Her Royal Highness, who watches “What Not to Wear” saying, “Heels are great Mom. They elongate the leg.” As if my legs need elongating. They already make up a good half of my body.

I totter to a nearby mirror, trying not to trip as I am dreadfully out of practice. Just as I expected, I’m towering, even here in the shoe section. But one look solidifies my infatuation into full blown love. I cannot resist. I. Must. Have. Shoes.

I. Must. Have. THESE. Shoes.

My best friend, Rebecca, is not with me, but I can hear her in my head. “Mz. Jackson, you have got to get those shoes. Who the hell cares if you’re tall? They look incredible.”

Her voice emboldens me. I put back on my old shoes, which now seem to be ugly stepsisters in comparison with these princesses. With determination, I grab up the box. It is now or never. I have not worn heels since my big growth spurt at twelve sent me almost to my present height. But by God, I’m getting these puppies.

I can hardly contain my joy as I get into the car. I put on the princesses, toss the stepsisters into the box, and throw the box over my shoulder into the back seat. It is almost time to pick up Her Royal Highness, but I cannot resist staring a moment at my foot on the gas pedal in complete fascination. I can bet I’ll even drive better in these shoes.

From the moment she enters the car, my daughter radars in on my purchase. She, who like my buddy Rebecca is a shoe fiend, is infinitely pleased. . When we get home, she takes a digital picture of my shoes so that I can send it to Rebecca, who calls me immediately and raves over my decision.

The true test however, is Mr. Jackson, who is the same height as me. He has never voiced any objections to my wearing heels. In fact, he loves that I am tall. He comes from a—shall we say—“vertically challenged” family and has never made any secret of the fact that my height was a big bonus just by virtue of enriching the gene pool. (Yes, my oldest is only five four, but considering that my husband’s grandmother didn’t even graze five feet, I’d say that it has been a successful venture so far.) But still. I’ve already mentioned that I don’t like towering over others and the idea of being that much taller than my mate has never made me feel very feminine.

Later that afternoon, when the kids are occupied with homework, computers and television, I take my beloved into the bedroom and show him the shoes in the box. He nods approvingly. The first hurdle is passed.

“Those are pretty,” he says.

“I thought so.”

Mr. Jackson waits expectantly as I fiddle with the shoes and then says, “Well? Aren’t you going to put them on?”

I gulp and pull them from the box. First one shoe goes on, then the other. Sure enough, within seconds, my husband is staring up at me in all my almost six foot grandeur. He looks me up and down, his eyes pausing for a long moment on my legs.

“What do you think?” I ask nervously.

He doesn’t say anything. He just grins. Then he goes to the bedroom door, shuts it...

And when I hear him hit the lock button, I know I’m not the only one who likes my new shoes.

Okay, I admit it, I'm a mess.

2007-05-07T14:21:00.001-07:00

You Are a Little Messy

You aren't the cleanest person in the world, but you're definitely not a slob.
You clean up when you have the time, but you're realistic about what you can get done.
Generally, you're pretty organized and tidy - though you may have a few hidden messes.
You eventually get around to making things spotless, but you do it on your own schedule!

Are You Messy?

Worth Mentioning

2007-05-07T09:59:00.000-07:00

Hey, I'm so happy and honored to have received a mention on Blogozine. If you haven't checked out this informational cyber-publication, be sure to stop by and visit.

Also, I guess I got a giggle from my friend over at Wooden Porch and I appreciate it. When you stop in to visit, be sure to read her "Pistol Packin'Mama" blog entry. The way she puts words and pics together is priceless!

Manic Monday 5/7/07

2007-05-07T07:57:00.000-07:00

Today's Manic Monday Word: Survive

Today, I would like to salute the survivors in my life.

My father.

Recently I was looking at a picture of my father's Marine Corps Regiment. I picked him out from the back row and then remarked at what a huge group of young men were in the group. He simply said, "Of that entire group, only half of us made it home alive." Daddy, thank you for serving our country in Viet Nam and coming home alive to marry Mama and have us kids. Thank you for surviving the recession in the seventies that cost you your dairy farm and then going on to get your education, inspiring us all when you finished your PH.D. in your late forties.

My Grandma Ruth

Thank you Grandma for making it through the Dust Bowl and surviving the Okie migration to California. Thank you for surviving when Grandpa Earl hit a mid-life crisis and destroyed your 35 year marriage with an affair. You pulled yourself up by your bootstraps, started a courier service and built a new life for yourself.

Mr. Jackson

Thank you, Mr. Jackson for surviving a rough childhood to become the best husband and father a woman could ever want.

Rebecca, my best friend.

Rebecca, you have endured the worst thing a parent can imagine, the murder of your daughter. But you have survived with a strength and purpose that has touched the lives of those around you more than you can ever imagine. I'm proud to call you my best friend.

These are only a few of the survivors in my life, whose survival stories have helped me to survive. For this, I am utterly grateful.

Whose survival story has helped you survive tough times in your own life? Feel free to share in the comments.

Tag, You're it!

2007-05-07T07:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, I tag Shaz, Herbert, Fancy Pants, and my new blogging friend, Kim, for the Seven Random Things about me MEME!

Seven Random Things about Me

2007-05-06T18:14:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged by Tigger for the Seven Random Things Meme, so here goes!

1. I love to have my back scratched. I even bought one of those long handled shower-back brushes to keep by my bed as a back scratcher. My husband says my reaction to back scratching is positively indecent. I think he likes it though.

2. I haven't had a new cavity in over 25 years.

3. I have a stripey sunburn on my belly right now. Don't ask...

4. I can't touch a doorknob in a public restroom after I've washed and dried my hands. I have to cover my hand with a paper towel and then toss it when I've exited. If I'm in a restroom where there are only those blasted dryers, I will use my foot or the tail of my shirt to open the door. If I do happen to touch the door with my skin, I feel like my skin is crawling with germs and must wash them again. Am I crazy? Don't answer that...

5. I had two of my children with absolutely no pain killing drugs whatsoever. However, the second birth was so horrendously painful that I demanded drugs on the third one. And when they wore off before the birth was over, I begged my husband to knock me in the head. (Of course, he didn't! How can you even think such a thing about Mr. Jackson??)

6. I have been married twenty years and have never yet gone to the bathroom in front of my husband. I didn't know this was wierd until I talked to some friends and found out this was quite novel.

7. I don't freckle. I have probably a total of 5 freckles on my being, one of which is right above my lip. Mr. Jackson really likes that little freckle for some reason.

I've got to go figure out who to tag and will post tomorrow! Good night all!

Mz. Jackson's Interview with Skittles

2007-05-05T07:34:00.000-07:00

I was interviewed this week by Skittles and so here are my answers! I thought she had some really great questions, by the way.

Why did you start blogging?

I love to write, but even more than that, I love to visit with people. I have always been like that. My mother says when I was little I would talk to a “rank stranger” and would probably have run off with them, too! I pretty much will still talk to a rank stranger, though I doubt I would run off with them. Unless they look like George Clooney. Or they ARE George Clooney.

Do you have any autographs from famous people? If not, whose would you most like to get and why?

I have an autographed copy of Billie Letts’ WHERE THE HEART IS, which I got at a writer’s convention where she was speaking. I’m not much of one to ask for autographs, unless I’m at an event specifically designed for the purpose. However, I would love to have an autograph from Margaret Mitchell, who wrote Gone With the Wind, because her writing style has always so enthralled me.

What’s the craziest thing you would do for $100?

Jump into a swimming pool of ice cold water. I’m a girl, so I don’t have to worry about shrinkage (All you Seinfeld fans will get that one.)

Name your favorite flower and describe how you resemble it.

I love zinnias. They are colorful, will grow in hot weather, and are generally very enduring~just like me.

Talk about someone who influenced your life.

There are so many! But I would have to say my Grandma Ruth. She has always been so lively and positive, always believing in me. When I was a little girl and the mean boys at my school started teasing me and calling me ugly (those little bastards!), she would always tell me I was beautiful and take me to the mirror and point out my good attributes. This means so much to a little child. She’s got a great memory and talks about her childhood during the Depression and of her teen years during WWII. I love to visit with her. She’s still one of my best friends.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Friday's Feast the Second

2007-05-04T03:41:00.000-07:00

Appetizer:

Name Something you would not want to own

A veneral disease. No herpes, clap, syphillis, etc. for me, thank you kindly!

Oh, I wouldn't want a Hummer either.

Soup:

Describe your hair (texture, color, length, etc.).

Long, dark brown with reddish highlights. Thick and coarse like a horse's tail. I have to use hot oil treatment twice a week just to keep it manageable. It's straight on top and super wavy underneath, but I use a straightener on it to tame 'er down. It hangs about down to my bra strap.
Almost every hairdresser I've ever had has told me I have the thickest hair they've ever seen. A dubious dinstinction at best.

Salad
Finish this sentence: I’ll never forget ___________.

Where I was, what I was doing, and how I felt the days of:
The Shuttle Explosion
The Oklahoma City Bombing
The 9/11 Terrorist Attacks

Main Course:
Which famous person would you like to be for one day? Why?

I would love to be Donald Trump for just one day so I could go do something about that stinkin' hairdo, bless his heart! Also so I could pick his brain about how to be a millionaire and have the freedom to tell Rosie off without suffering for it. She's just so dang hateful sometimes!

Dessert
Write one sentence about yourself that includes one thing that is true and another thing that is not.

I've been married for twenty years and I have a harem. Scroll to the bottom of the page for a story on this one.

Thursday's Thirteen 5/03/07

2007-05-03T03:50:00.000-07:00

Thirteen Commercial jingles or sayings that have stuck in my brain over the years. Some I loved. Some I hated. Here they are.

1. Ice cold milk and an Oreo cookie, they forever go together, they're a classic combination...

2. Dirty Mouth? Clean it up with Orbit Gum.

3. Bryl Cream, a little dab'll do ya...by Mennen

4. I'm a Pepper, she's a Pepper, he's a Pepper...if you drink Dr. Pepper, you're a Pepper, too...

5. Geico, so easy a caveman could do it.

6. Curls are back, and Toni's got 'em, and you can get 'em any way you want 'em...

7. I'd like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony, I'd like to buy the world a Coke, and keep it company...

8. Double your flavor, double your fun, with Doublemint Gum...

9. Let's pick a pack of Juicy Fruit Gum, chew it and let all the flavor come through, pick a bright yellow pack of Juicy Fruit Gum, and let it all happen to you...

10. Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is...Alka Seltzer

11. Tum, tu-tum tum, tuuuuummms...Tums

12. How do you spell relief? R-O-L-A-I-D-S

13. Number Thirteen is posted in "honor" of all the commercials about erectile dysfunction (This is Bob...), veneral disease ("I have genital herpes...and I don't, and we're doing something to keep it that way..."), and other issues we all would rather not talk about while we're trying to enjoy our weekly episode of "Survivor" or "American Idol." Thanks. ~ahem~ Thanks a bunch.

Did I leave any good ones out? Feel free to share...

The Sibling Chronicles

2007-05-03T03:43:00.000-07:00

Last night after the kids watched a drama skit at youth service, my youngest daughter, Sweet Baby, commented that my eldest daughter, Her Royal Highness, would make an excellent Satan (or 'devil'as she called it) in the next drama.

Hmm. Was this a compliment? You decide.

I've been tagged!

2007-05-02T14:57:00.000-07:00

For the Ten Things You Don't Know About Me meme by Skittles. Here goes:

1. I'm a preacher's kid. Yes, the sometimes irreverent Mz. Jackson is the child of a Southern Baptist Minister. Everybody put on your church face now!

2. I'm scared to death of heights. So scared that I have to take a Xanax just to take an airplane ride.Not surprisingly, I'm also scared to death of roller coasters. I've only been on one once and have backed out of line at the last minute more times than I can count. Yes, I even avoid the log ride if it has a long drop.

3. I'm a cat person who is extremely allergic to cats. It is a story of unrequited love. I should stop now before I get choked up. But I sure wish I could have a Turkish Angoran...

4. I'm not one bit scared of spiders. My children come get me to kill the little buggers. I even let a barn spider keep its web on the outside of my front room window once so I could watch him catch flies and eat them. You know, it sounds a little crazy now that it's in print...

5. I got paddled in school (back when paddling was still practiced) every year from second grade through fifth because I couldn't sit still and talked too much.

6. I had such a huge crush on Scott Baio growing up that I wouldn't miss an episode of Happy Days just in case he was in it. I truly believed he was waiting for me to grow up and get to Hollywood so he could say he finally found the woman of his dreams.

7. I once got in big trouble for doing a strip tease. Of course, I was ten and doing the strip tease in front of my bedroom mirror. But when my mother walked in and caught me, you should have heard the explosion!

8. I was a child bride. Mr. Jackson swept me to the altar when I was but a mere 18 years of age, in the pure blossom of my youth. Sorry Scott Baio, I can't wait around on you forever!

9. As a teenager, I was not a rocker like my friends, but a pure, sappy romantic. I used to listen to Neil Diamond and Barry Manilow love songs and cry big old tears at the idea of being "lost in love" like Air Supply. Did I ever mention my mother said I was a bit dramatic? And a bit of an exhibitionist too, judging from #7.

10. I've always secretly dreamed of being a storm chaser (for those of you who don't know, storm chasers follow tornadoes around. See the movie Twister for more details.)

You now know more than you ever wanted to about little ole moi. Y'all don't tell that about #7, okay? A girl has to protect her reputation.

I now tag Laurie In Denver, Shaz and Squirrel's Nuthouse.

Mr. Jackson, Graverobber

2007-05-02T14:03:00.000-07:00

For those who have wondered what Mr. Jackson is doing below on the Wordless Wednesday post, the mystery is solved. He is stealing peony tubers off that grave. He is laughing at me because I am calling him grave robber as I snap his picture. I'm laughing at him because he can't get the tubers out of the hard Arkansas ground, ha!

Of course, I should mention that Mr. Jackson's motives are pure. You see, that grave belongs to his Great Grandfather William Henry Harrison Ruble and Great Grandmother Roseeta Ruble. All his life, Mr. Jackson had heard stories from his Grandmother Elsie about her parents in Harrison Arkansas. So when we went on a romantic trip to Eureka Springs, Arkansas, we decided to drive on down to Harrison to find his Grandpa's grave.

It took us all day. We walked through every cemetery in town and even found a few Ruble graves, but none that belonged to Grandpa. Finally, we got a map from the city and found a few streets on the edge of town that had been named for one of Mr. Jackson's Ruble cousins who was a Doctor or something. When we found the streets, we just accidentally found the cemetery. And it's a good thing, too, because I don't think our marriage would have endured another arguement on how to get there. Besides, Mr. Jackson's driving through the winding Arkansas hills was making me pretty dang carsick.

So we found the grave and when Mr. Jackson couldn't get the tubers out of the ground, we headed back down the hill to Wahlgreens, thinking they would have a hand shovel. No hand shovels there, so we bought a package of cheap spoons and went back to the graveyard. As I stood on lookout, watching for the coppers, my sentimental husband managed to hack a couple of small tubers out of the peony bush (Did I mention the ground is ROCK HARD in Arkansas?). Only heaven knows if they will grow, but if they do, we will have quite a little story to tell our grandchildren.

By the way, no peony bushes were harmed during the making of this story.

So there you have it folks. The Jackson's idea of a romantic getaway, spending an entire day hunting for cemeteries in an unfamiliar town, and then stealing peony tubers off a grave (for sentimental purposes, of course). But really this should come as no surprise, since when Mr. and Mrs. Jackson were dating, we became really familiar with cemeteries.

Where do you think we used to "park?"

What's Mr. Jackson up to now? Guess!

2007-05-02T06:31:00.000-07:00

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY 5.02.07

If I only had a harem...

2007-05-01T03:49:00.000-07:00

My sweet sister, Mz. Opera, once posted her thoughts on the primal male and his aversion to monogamy. I think she was mad at her husband that day and was in a suspicious mood. Anyway she pointed to harems as just one proof that men have had a harder time staying faithful to one woman down through history. I do agree that some men have had a hard time with this concept.

But this also got me to thinking: what if women could have had a harem? What if they hadn't been in submission to society's mores of male dominance and could have had THEIR choice of all the males in the land. What if I had MY choice? Who would be in my harem?

Hmmm...

There are a few candidates that come to mind. Of course, I would pick my husband as chief of the harem. He would be my number one squeeze, the one in charge. But who else? George Clooney. He's definitely next on the list. And I thought of Keith Urban. Yes, he would definitely be in the running, as long as he brought his guitar and a piano. He'd have to leave the booze and pills behind though. Brendan Frazier. Of course, he would have to run around in the same loincloth he wore in George of the Jungle. Then, believe or not, I would want to add Greg Kinnear into the mix. I don't let myself think about him in that Jack Nicholson/Helen hunt flick. No, I prefer to remember him in Sabrina, or better yet, that little known but great flick, A Smile Like Yours, where he was a construction foreman trying to make a baby with his wife. To keep the comedy going, I would add in Kevin James from King of Queens and--heck, why not?--Jerry Seinfeld. Who says everything has to be about sex?

I would treat my harem well. I would provide a big weight room so they could keep their muscles big and strong. I would give them lots of good, healthy food so they could keep the six packs from becoming 24 packs. And I would naturally make sure they had plenty of books and music to keep them educated in case I wanted a little conversation with my love.

However, the thought of keeping up with a harem is starting to get a little overwhelming here. Do I really want all this testosterone to deal with? What if they start fighting amongst themselves? What if they stage a revolt and decide to watch sports 24-7? What if I can't keep up with all the sexual demands? I mean, I work hard enough just keeping up with the chief. Do I want to add an more into the mix?

On second thought, I don't think I have the energy for this. In fact, I know I don't. I'm just too dang lazy. So I think I will stick with what I've got. No harem for me. Just my sweet husband, who is loved by children and animals...

And me, of course.

Anyone else with different harem preferences, feel free to share!

Manic Monday 4/30/07

2007-04-30T06:49:00.000-07:00

Manic Monday Word: SILENCE

It's funny how the value of silence has changed for me since I was a child. Back then, silence scared me. I was always social and I had a wild imagination as well. When silence descended on the house, that imagination went to work. I heard every crick, crack, and creak the house made, imagined every shadow to be a ghost or a monster lurking in the the night, ready to pounce on me and swallow me whole.

But now, moments of silence have become quite precious to me.

My days are filled with noise. Children laughing and fighting, television blaring, car horns honking, washing machine swishing, dogs barking. I love my life and the noise in it, but once in a while I need a moment of silence just to reflect on life. I find my moment of silence on my trampoline.

I love to lay on the trampoline and just look at the blue sky and clouds overhead. There's also a pecan tree nearby and its green strikes a beautiful contrast against the blue. On the trampoline, I can relax and think about my plans and dreams, basically regroup my ADD riddled mind for what lies ahead. Or, I can silence my mind and just not think at all. Just be a part of the sky and the clouds and the trees.

Those are the best moments of silence. When I can JUST BE.

Blessing

2007-04-30T06:16:00.000-07:00

A Blessing for Cheryl F. this week:May every door open that needs to open.
May blessings be upon you going in and coming out.
May you find opportunities you didn't even know existed.
May your family and children be blessed.
Amen

What, me histrionic? Moi?

2007-04-29T07:13:00.000-07:00

Got this over at Rebecca's today. Fun!

You May Be a Bit Histrionic...

Dramatic and over the top, you crave attention.
And you'll do anything it takes to get noticed.
You love to be seductive, even when it's inappropriate.
If you're ignored, you're easily hurt ... and act out even more!

What Personality Disorder Are You?

The Google Search goes on...

2007-04-28T13:26:00.000-07:00

I've now seen this exercise over at Crazy Working Mom's, Skittle's Place, and Shaz's, so I thought I would try it out. I simply googled the following phrase

Lorrie (my name) needs to...

and came up with the following:

Lorrie needs to hear your concerns about your son's health and her smoking in front of your son. Gee. I didn't even know I smoked.

Lorrie needs to drink since she’s saving herself for Mike’s birthday. I won't deny I probably need a drink, but who the heck is Mike? I would love to know since I'm saving myself for him and all. Should I tell my husband?

lorrie needs to know what color my dress is...Because Lorrie is really vain and doesn't want to be wearing the same fashion as someone else, of course!

Lorie needs to know about Wizbang and Wizbanging! Okay, I'm really nervous about this one. Does anyone know what wizbanging is? And do I want to know?

Lorrie needs to learn a basic life skill: how to pick her fights. Heh, what a goofball thing to take a stand on... Hey! Just because I'm saving myself for Mike is no reason to get personal!

Have a great weekend, y'all!

Interesting thing you might or might not want to know...

2007-04-28T07:41:00.000-07:00

Found this quiz over at Rebecca's

What Your Underwear Says About You

You enjoy wearing nice underwear, even if it comes at a hefty price tag.

You're sexy, in that pinup girl, tease sort of way.

The Underwear Oracle

This week in the news...

2007-04-27T14:45:00.000-07:00

MISS OKLAHOMA TURNED MISS AMERICA, YOU MAKE OUR STATE PROUD!!!!

I also post this in honor of my friend, Rebecca She and other victim's rights advocates like her deserve just as much recognition as Miss America!

Miss America helps cops in sex sting

OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) — Miss America can add crime fighter to her resume.
Lauren Nelson recently went undercover with police in New York for a sting targeting sexual predators.

Officers with Suffolk County's computer crimes unit created an online profile of a 14-year-old girl that included photographs of Nelson as a teenager.

"I got to chat online with the predators and made phone calls, too," Nelson said by phone from Atlantic City "The Suffolk County Police Department was there the whole time."

The operation was filmed for a segment of America's Most Wanted that will air Saturday on Fox. Police spokesman Tim Motz said the operation was ongoing and declined to comment Tuesday evening.

For more story, go here

Friday's Feast the First

2007-04-27T09:21:00.000-07:00

This is my First Friday Feast!

Oh, and if you haven't read the story about my Opera singing sister yet and are in the mood for a chuckle, scroll down a couple...but please don't judge me. I was but a mere child.

Anyway, on with the feast...

Appetizer
How fast can you type?
About 65-70 words per minute. I thought this was pretty fast til I saw some other people's numbers. Picture Mz. Jackson slinking away in shame...

Soup
What is your favorite online game?
Ugh, I hate online games. But my husband loves them, especially World of Warcraft. I do like to take online quizzes though, does that count?

Salad
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 as highest), how intelligent do you think you are?
7. 3 and 7 are my favorite numbers, but 3 would make me look like a moron, so I'd better go with 7.

Main Course
Name three of your best teachers from your school years.
Mrs. Belt (Freshman English), Ms. Slate (Sophmore English), and Mrs. Dwyer (French).
Dessert
What are your plans for this upcoming weekend?
To escort kids around on Saturday, and, as always, visit my grandmothers on Sunday. Picture Mz. Jackson with a halo, her hands folded angelically in prayer as she goes about doing heavenly deeds.

Isn't this Fantastic?

2007-04-27T07:59:00.000-07:00

WOMAN, 95, TO BE OLDEST COLLEGE GRADUATE

By CARL MANNING, Associated Press Writer
Fri Apr 27, 4:02 AM ET

Sitting on the front row in her college classes carefully taking notes, Nola Ochs is just as likely to answer questions as to ask them. That's not the only thing distinguishing her from fellow students at Fort Hays State University. She's 95, and when she graduates May 12, she'll be what is believed to be the world's oldest person to be awarded a college degree.

To read more, go here

NOLA, YOU ROCK!!!

Happy Birthday, Mz. Opera

2007-04-27T07:10:00.000-07:00

Today is my baby sister's birthday and in her honor I'm going to run an updated version of one of my very first posts about her called Musical Pearls Before Sisterly Swine. If you've already read it, scroll to the bottom of the post for a little addition to the story.

I would also like to send a Happy Birthday tomorrow to my Sister-In-Law, Fancy Pants, who is married to my brother, Mr. Prodigy.

Last weekend, my baby sister (whom I shall henceforth refer to as 'Mz. Opera') got the part of Madame Butterfly in a small yet sophisticated opera company in a small yet sophisticated midwestern city! I am so proud of you, Mz. Opera.

And to think Mz. Jackson and her other sister, Mz. Blue Eyes, almost ruined a budding career in its early stages.

Many years ago (I'm not telling you how many years, Mz. Jackson does not reveal her age to friends or strangers), my mother was driving me and my sisters, Mz. Blue Eyes and Mz. Opera home from church one evening. Mz. Opera was about five, I was thirteen, and Mz. Blue Eyes was twelve. As we headed down the single-laned country road that led to our little house in the big woods, my mother asked Mz. Opera about her day at Kindergarten.

"We learned a new song!" Mz. Opera said, her big eyes shining with excitement.

"Oh, we would love to hear it," says Mother with motherly enthusiasm. "Wouldn't we, girls?" she asked-but-really-commanded Mz. Blue Eyes and myself.

"Oh, yeah, yeah," we both muttered. After all, we would much rather discuss the sweaty, prepubescent boys we saw at church than listen to some nursery rhyme set to song, but whatever. Mother had spoken.

Little Mz. Opera drew her body up straight, pointed her black Cherokee eyes heavenward, and belted out in true opera fashion the following:

Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong bell,
who put pussy in the well?

Did Mz. Blue Eyes and I hear the budding and brilliant voice of a future star? Nope. All we heard was one word: pussy. And since we'd recently learned on the school bus (rolling school of smut education) that the word could mean something other than cat, we both burst into laughter.

Poor Mz. Opera was completely smashed. She shut her mouth immediately, gave us both an accusing glare, and sank back into her seat.

Mother was mortified. "Hush up, you two! That was beautiful, Mz. Opera! Oh, please keep singing!"

I, smitten immediately with the guilt that is integral to my nature, begged, "I'm sorry, Mz. Opera! We weren't laughing at you! We were laughing at..."

I stopped here. Now how was I supposed to explain why we were laughing? To a little five year old? With my mother well within slapping range?

I looked to Mz. Blue Eyes, but she just shrugged. Truth be told, she'd been a little jealous of Mz. Opera since the day they brought her home from the hospital and had found her to be somewhat of a pesky annoyance ever since. Such is sisterly love. No help there.

I stammered, "We just thought the song was funny! Your voice is so pretty! Sing some more."

But Mz. Opera would not make another peep. In fact, she didn't cast her musical pearls before her sisterly swine for at least another ten years. But when I heard her blast the roof of her high school auditorium when she sang the national anthem for her high school graduation before going on to study opera, I was finally released from my prison of guilt.

Ah, it feels good to be free. Sing on Madame Butterfly! Sing on.

Note: I found out later that Mz. Opera decided later that evening she was going to run away from us ungrateful hooligans who had no appreciation for her artistic talent. She made it all the way to the end of the first leg of our mile long drive before my brother, Mr. Prodigy, caught up with her and convinced her to come home.

Thursday's Thirteen 04/26/07

2007-04-26T05:22:00.001-07:00

1. King of Queens: What could be funnier than Doug showing Carrie how to pole dance? Classic.

2. Everybody Loves Raymond: Functional these people ain't, but funny they are.

3. Frasier: I'll never forget when Frasier accidentally saw Daphne naked. Priceless.

4. Seinfeld: There will never be another character like Cramer.

5. I Love Lucy: I can still picture Lucy stomping grapes in my mind if I even consider drinking a glass of wine.

6. Andy Griffith: I love all the ones with Barney Fife in them.

7. Bosom Buddies: Oh come on! You don't remember Tom Hanks wandering around in drag??

8. Designing Women: Beauty Queen Susanne and her pet pig. Enough said.

9. Reba: I don't believe any other sitcom besides #2 on the list has such a strong set of supporting characters.

10. Newhart: Remember Larry, Daryll and Daryll?

11. George Lopez: That guy can always make me laugh.

12. Home Improvement: The show that proved Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

13. Sanford and Son: I'm comin' Elizabeth!!

Did I miss any good ones? And for those non-Americans out there, do you have any favorites in your country you would like to share?
Happy Thursday, everyone!

HELP ME!!

2007-04-25T18:28:00.000-07:00

I need help. How do I get the picture to the right here to show up when I post on someone's blog? I can't figure it out. Keeps asking me for a URL. How do I get that? Help me, somebody, pleeeeeease....

Stormy skies in Oklahoma

2007-04-25T13:09:00.000-07:00

SCROLL DOWN A COUPLE FOR WORDLESS WEDNESDAY...

Try this for Fun

2007-04-25T07:46:00.000-07:00

I found this site over at Mama Shalom's Pretty cool.

HowManyOfMe.com

There are
56
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Wordless Wednesday 4/25/07

2007-04-25T06:30:00.000-07:00

Lady Scarlett and her Servant Omar

2007-04-25T06:25:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of Lady Scarlett, our Great Dane. We had her on the leash so we could get her to stand still for the picture. The little dog beside her is one of our daschunds, Omar, who is full grown. She's still a pup and look how much bigger she is than Omar!

Where do you hava your java?

2007-04-24T11:39:00.000-07:00

I'm just curious: if you were to choose a coffee house in your area, where would you choose to go?
My coffee house of choice is called Nordaggio's. The atmosphere is ultra-relaxing, with a fireplace, couches, tall tables, and rich, dark wood floors. They have every kind of coffee, latte, or coffee related drink you could imagine.

So what's your favorite coffee spot? Where you hava your java?

I'm 60% Girly

2007-04-24T07:34:00.000-07:00

You Are 60% Girly

You're a little girly, a little boyish, and probably a whole lot indie.
You have your own unique style, and it pretty much defies gender lines.

How Girly Are You?

/

I hope some guys will take the dare at Skittle's and take the quiz, too...

My Buddy and Me

2007-04-24T07:07:00.000-07:00

I would just like to write a special blog about myself and my best friend and writing partner, Rebecca DeMauro, who some of you may know as Rebecca from The Rants from Sunnybrook Farm.

Rebecca and I became good friends a few years back when we formed a writing group with some of our other friends. Today, the group is no more, but Rebecca and I are still tapping away at the keyboards. At first, we had our individual projects, but while working on some editing on her project, we discovered we worked very well together. Now, we have produced one novel (Campfire Secrets) and are working on the next. We have recently obtained representation through a literary agency which we hope will glean publication soon.

This has been a long, drawn out process, with lots of twists and turns and mistakes, but through it all, Rebecca and I have not had one argument. Whether we were running through airports trying to catch a connecting plane, trying to navigate our way through Manhattan in high heels that killed the feet, or planting our tails in front of the computer for hours creating our characters, we've not exchanged a cross word. Our husbands have been incredibly supportive and we have to thank them for that, too.

So here's to my friend, Rebecca, today, who is off doing good deeds for child advocacy.

And here's to Campfire Secrets: Fingers crossed everyone!

Manic Monday 4/23/07

2007-04-23T08:21:00.000-07:00

Manic Monday Word:

Sun

This word today makes me think of John Denver. My husband was doing his nightly flip through the channel routine and stopped on PBS. This is one of his favorite stops, which include the Sci Fi channel and anything remotely resembling ESPN. At all other stops, he pauses just long enough for me to get interested and then moves on. Anyway, PBS was showing a John Denver Special. He was singing: Sunshine on my shoulder makes me happy, sunshine in my eyes can make me cry...

I was never a huge John Denver fan, but this song always takes me back to when I was a little girl running around my dad's dairy farm, playing Wizard of Oz with my sister.

It is funny because John Denver is one of those people who has passed away but who I can't believe is actually dead, even after all these years. It just doesn't seem real, like when I hear that Princess Diana or JFK Jr. is gone. No matter how many times you heard the news, certain people seem to live on forever in your mind, forever young.

Can anyone else think of a late, great celebrity who they just can't imagine is really departed?

Is Mz. Jackson moody?

2007-04-21T10:07:00.000-07:00

I have looked over the last week since I began this blog and realized I've changed my mood at least ten times. I've felt everything from fat to bloated to javalicious to fantastic and a few more. Does this mean Mz. Jackson is moody?
I guess you would have to ask my husband to find out for sure...
But he's a smart man and would probably say, "No comment."

My Favorite Poem

2007-04-20T11:21:00.000-07:00

It is odd and yet true that one of the most romantic poems of all time was written by the original master of suspense, Edgar Allen Poe. This poem has touched my soul since I first heard it in Junior High.

ANNABELLE LEE
It was many and many a year ago
In a kingdom by the sea
That a maiden there lived, whom you may know
By the name of Annabelle Lee
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child
In this kingdom by the sea
But we loved with a love that was more than love
I and my Annabelle Lee
With a love that winged seraphs of Heaven
Coveted her and me
This was the reason that, long ago
In this kingdom by the sea
That the winds came out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabelle Lee
So that her highborn kinsmen came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea
The Angels, half so happy in Heaven,
Went envying her and meYes!
That was the reason (as all men know
In this kingdom by the sea)
That a wind came out of a cloud by night
Chilling and killing my Annabelle Lee.
But our love, it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we,
Of many far wiser than we
And neither the Angels in Heaven above
Nor the demons down under the sea
Could never dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabelle Lee.
For the moon never beams without giving me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabelle Lee
And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes
Of my beautiful Annabelle Lee.
And so, all the nighttide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling! My darling, my life and my bride.
In her sepulchre, there by the sea,
In her tomb, by the sounding sea....
By EDGAR ALLAN POE

Feel free to mention your favorite poem, and have a great weekend everyone!

Thursday's Thirteen 04/19/07

2007-04-19T07:12:00.000-07:00

Thirteen Great Inventions:

1. Peanut Butter

2. Toilet Paper

3. Sticky notes

4. Dr. Pepper

5. Chai Latte

6. Central Heat and Air

7. Cell phones

8. Laptops

9. c.d. players

10. Refrigerators with icemakers

11. Chocolate Dipped Cones

12. Beltless Kotex

13. Flushing Toilets

Feel free to add your selections!

Wordless Wednesday 4/18/07

2007-04-18T09:37:00.000-07:00

Musical Pearls before Sisterly Swine

2007-04-17T07:22:00.000-07:00

This weekend, my baby sister (whom I shall henceforth refer to as 'Mz. Opera') got the part of Madame Butterfly in a small yet sophisticated opera company in a small yet sophisticated midwestern city! I am so proud of you, Mz. Opera.

And to think Mz. Jackson and her other sister, Mz. Blue Eyes, almost ruined a budding career in its early stages.

Many years ago (I'm not telling you how many years, Mz. Jackson does not reveal her age to friends or strangers), my mother was driving me and my sisters, Mz. Blue Eyes and Mz. Opera home from church one evening. Mz. Opera was about five, I was thirteen, and Mz. Blue Eyes was twelve. As we headed down the single-laned country road that led to our little house in the big woods, my mother asked Mz. Opera about her day at Kindergarten.

"We learned a new song!" Mz. Opera said, her big eyes shining with excitement.

"Oh, we would love to hear it," says Mother with motherly enthusiasm. "Wouldn't we, girls?" she asked-but-really-commanded Mz. Blue Eyes and myself.

"Oh, yeah, yeah," we both muttered. After all, we would much rather discuss the sweaty, prepubescent boys we saw at church than listen to some nursery rhyme set to song, but whatever. Mother had spoken.

Little Mz. Opera drew her body up straight, pointed her black Cherokee eyes heavenward, and belted out in true opera fashion the following:
Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong bell,
who put pussy in the well?

Did Mz. Blue Eyes and I hear the budding and brilliant voice of a future star? Nope. All we heard was one word: pussy. And since we'd recently learned on the school bus (rolling school of smut education) that the word could mean something other than cat, we both burst into laughter.

Poor Mz. Opera was completely smashed. She shut her mouth immediately, gave us both an accusing glare, and sank back into her seat.

Mother was mortified. "Shut up, you two! That was beautiful, Mz. Opera! Oh, please keep singing!"
I, smitten immediately with the guilt that is integral to my nature, begged, "I'm sorry, Mz. Opera! We weren't laughing at you! We were laughing at..."
I stopped here. Now how was I supposed to explain why we were laughing? To a little five year old? With my mother well within slapping range?
I looked to Mz. Blue Eyes, but she just shrugged. Truth be told, she'd been a little jealous of Mz. Opera since the day they brought her home from the hospital and had found her to be somewhat of a pesky annoyance ever since. Such is sisterly love. No help there.
I stammered, "We just thought the song was funny! Your voice is so pretty! Sing some more."
But Mz. Opera would not make another peep. In fact, she didn't cast her musical pearls before her sisterly swine for at least another ten years. But when I heard her blast the roof of her high school auditorium when she sang the national anthem for her high school graduation before going on to study opera, I was finally released from my prison of guilt.
Ah, it feels good to be free. Sing on Madame Butterfly! Sing on.

Still Reeling over V Tech News

2007-04-17T06:26:00.000-07:00

I'm still reeling over the massacre at Virginia Tech. I don't understand how something like this could happen and I have scores of questions turning over in my brain: why did he do it? Where did he get those kind of weapons? Should we have better gun control or would he have been able to get the guns anyway, as most crooks and crazies seem to be able to do?

And I think about the parents of the victims, with special empathy now that I have a close to college aged child myself. How must they be feeling? How will they survive this ordeal? I just wish there was something I could do to help.

But I have to admit that the biggest question in my mind is this: if the little bastard was going to kill himself anyway, why didn't he just do THAT in the first place rather than taking a bunch of innocent people with him? This is always a big question for me when these mass murders take place. I can't help it. I know I should be thinking, why would that poor boy be so desperate as to want to commit such a horrendous deed. But that's not how my mind works. Although I will admit, I do always think about the parents of the shooter and wonder how they will survive knowing what their child has done. I can only imagine the absolute torture this could cause any parent.

And so, thoughts and prayers go out to the victims' families. Spring is supposed to be a happy time. But it seems a lot of these type things happen in the spring. I wonder why.

Wrinkles and Zits

2007-04-16T09:38:00.000-07:00

Have you noticed that life is full of unfair phenomenon over which we have absolutely no control? For instance:

Wrinkles and zits: How can a face that produces enough oil to run a friggin' SUV still develop crow's feet and laugh lines? No fair.

Hair Apparent: Have you noticed that you can work and work to get your hair to conform to the latest style and when you finally get it just where you want it, the style changes???? NO FAIR!!

Parenting paradox: How is it that when you're easy on your children in an area where you felt your parents were too hard on you, your children rarely appreciate it and even blame you for their failures because "if you'd been tougher on me, I would have had the discipline to do thus and so?" No fair.

Sexual Prowess but no "nowness": Why is that you spend your twenties learning how to enjoy sex and even developing some great techniques, only to find in your thirties and forties you and the spouse are too busy to practice all the fun stuff you learned? (I'm speaking to women here--we know you men never had to learn to like it...) No fair.

Of course, I could list a million more, and I'm sure you could, too. Death, taxes, facial hair, ingrown hairs from trying to wax aforementioned facial hair, ingrown toenails and the cost of gasoline. Life really isn't fair sometimes. But we live it and we love it, because...well, what else you gonna do?